If You Use Any of These Coded Words at Work, Your Colleagues Probably Don't Trust You Translation and language expert Ingrid Christensen reveals why the words we use matter, especially in the workplace.
By Amanda Breen Edited by Jessica Thomas
Have you ever had a conversation with a colleague or manager that left you feeling slighted, even though you weren't explicitly dismissed or insulted?
Chances are you were on the receiving end of coded language: words or phrases that mean different things to different people and "can lead to confusion, miscommunication and even hurt feelings," according to translation and language expert Ingrid Christensen.
Related: 4 Words That Reinforce the Gender Gap at Work
When seemingly innocent yet insidious turns of phrase creep into our workplace vocabulary (think telling someone you actually like their idea or are impressed they know something), it not only triggers a breakdown in communication — but also in trust.
It's a subject Christensen explores in her forthcoming book The Language of Trust.
"Language is our most powerful and influential tool," Christensen says. "Words describe what you're seeing, feeling or thinking in ways others will understand. Words offer context and communicate unique perspectives. This is why language and trust go hand in hand."
Words always matter when it comes to building trust, but they can take on even greater importance in a professional environment, especially when they're coming from those in leadership positions, Christensen says, adding that language has the power to make people feel safe — or not — at work.
What's more, "trust" can be a catch-all term for a whole host of positive attributes.
"When we examine what we actually mean by trust, we uncover a multitude of words such as capability, confidence, competence, commitment and creativity," Christensen explains. "All of these words fall along the continuum of trust and constitute its building blocks. Without all of them, trust is but a wish, a hope, a dream."
Christensen suggests sticking to clear, consistent and honest communication in the workplace — and avoiding common verbal faux pas like "additional man hours," "boys club" or "bossy, sassy, emotional, aggressive," or any combination thereof, as all of this gender-coded language can be seen as excluding or targeting those who identify as women.
Christensen acknowledges it's impossible to avoid all words or phrases that could potentially harm someone because we're human, but it's important to own the misstep. "When you make a mistake, offer a clear and meaningful apology and outline a clear plan on how you'll avoid making the mistake again," she says.
Related: 12 Phrases That Are Making You Sound Ignorant
Additionally, Christensen emphasizes that everyone, no matter how old they are, has the capacity to learn, grow and change — we do so daily, after all.
"Careless language destroys trust," Christensen says. "By redefining the terms we use and the emotions they involve, we go through the process of building relationships with those around us. This process gently pushes us toward healing opportunities. By refining our words, we invest in the currency of trust with ourselves and others. We build trust and heal the ruptures of trust with language."
