Six Founders on Managing Misunderstandings and Offensive Interactions We're always navigating differences-whether they're rooted in opinions, personalities, cultural expectations, or communication styles. Here, six entrepreneurs share how they've learned to deal with discord.
This story appears in the April 2022 issue of Entrepreneur. Subscribe »
1. Try to understand people, not change them.
"In a previous role, one of my team members was motivated by competition, which created friction with others. Trying to change someone's way of seeing the world is an exercise in futility, so rather than judge their means of motivation, I refocused their competitiveness on personal performance. That way, they could tap into their desire to achieve without making others feel challenged or dominated." — Kate Lubenesky, president, W&P
2. To avoid confusion, recap.
"As a global brand, we do business in different regions and deal with language barriers as well as cultural subtleties. In the past, things have definitely been lost in translation. We've learned to see the humor in it, rather than getting unnecessarily frustrated — which never helps anyway. We use simple tactics like email follow-ups. Regardless of "native tongue,' everything is always outlined and summarized with clear actions to follow." — Emma Gibson, CEO, Aquamamma
Related: 5 Tips for Effective Workplace Communication
3. Identify and accommodate differences.
"There are two types of people: those who think out loud, and those who wait until they've thought it through and done their research. Unfortunately, the "think out loud-ers' can overshadow the "wait to talk-ers.' As cofounders, my husband and I struggled with this. But we took a personality test called Culture Index, and learned this isn't a trait you can change. Now I start meetings by saying, "I'm going to shoot here for a minute.' And my husband takes notes, then says, "I'm going to marinate on this. Let's reconvene next Tuesday.'" — DaIna Trout, cofounder and CMO, Health-Ade
4. Hold space for opposing perspectives.
"As an intuitive person, I go with my gut. If I feel strongly about something, it's difficult for me to be open to other opinions. But after some feedback, I realized my lack of receptiveness wasn't serving me. My mentor gave me a life-changing mantra: When faced with contrary opinions, ask yourself, What if they're right? This prompts you to hold space for a chance that they're right, or at the very least, that they have a perspective that didn't already occur to you." — Lisa Stelly, founder, Fancy Sprinkles
Related: 3 Thought Leadership and Communication Tips for Hybrid-Era Leaders
5. Don't rely on others' judgments of someone.
"Recently I've been working with a freelancer, and for the first three months I didn't think she was adding much value. But it turns out her manager hadn't brought her into the fold enough. After working with her directly and giving her a big project — instead of the small ones she'd had before — she became much more excited about the brand, and her work has been terrific. Making time for one-on-one interaction instead of relying on your direct report is super important." — Kathryn Winokur, founder and CEO, Hally
6. When you feel attacked, stay present.
"Once, I set up a meeting to discuss a partnership deal. But at the meeting, there was a lawyer who kept asking how his company could essentially replicate our business. I was caught off guard and felt like my mind was being hijacked. Now, in situations like this, I ask how I can bring myself back to feeling present and prepared. Rather than putting up walls and getting defensive, I ask the other person thorough questions to better understand their point of view." — Joe Spector, founder and CEO, Dutch
