No More Mr. Nice Ad Cute doesn't cut it. To succeed, you've got to be more aggressive.
By Jerry Fisher
Opinions expressed by Entrepreneur contributors are their own.
Tamara Simon, who operates Koss Property Management Inc. inSeattle, sent in an ad that one could say "makes nice."It's agreeable, well-spoken and, yes, even cute-an adyou'd take home to mother.
But in the world of competitive advertising, where you need tostrap on an ammo bandolier, brave the elements and go out there forbattle, Simon might want to be more forceful and pithy. Remember,you're living in a world desensitized to advertising. Justputting your name at the top of an ad and having a sunny theme linefollow won't always cut it.
Realizing that do-it-yourself property management is a realmigraine for most people, it would benefit Koss to push that buttonin its advertising. To that end, my recommended headline would be,"10 Property Headaches You Won't Face Next Week."Then, of course, you'd list those 10 forsaken headaches (whichare indicated in the drawing of the house).
I wouldn't toss the company's upbeattheme-"We make it a pleasure to be a tenant andprofitable to be a landlord"-but it shouldn't go atthe top of the ad. I'd have it as a sign-off at the bottom.Also, rather than announce "references gladly provided,"it would be better to put a testimonial in the ad. But don'tmake it simply a make-nice testimonial; make it one that sets youapart from your competitors.
Before
This ad is anannouncement, not an advertisement. It needs more"salesmanship" to motivate response.
An ad'ssales impact is immediately cut in half when the company name isthe headline.
The listing ofservices is good, but it needs a more evocative context.
After
This headlineaddresses the hassles of owning rental property.
The listing isnow positioned as "headaches" prospects can get relieffrom.
Big benefits to using the services of Koss PropertyManagement are implied in this remake.
Jerry Fisher is a freelance advertising copywriter in the SanFrancisco Bay area and author of Creating Successful SmallBusiness Advertising (available through Bookmasters,800-247-6553). If you'd like Jerry to consider your materialsfor a makeover in this column, write to him c/o Entrepreneur ore-mail him at jerry228@aol.com.
Contact Source
- Koss Property Management, (206) 729-3630, kosspm@juno.com
