What Taboo? Catching your employees making goo-goo eyes at each other--even at you? Office romance is on the rise and, believe it or not, most say there's nothing wrong with that.
Opinions expressed by Entrepreneur contributors are their own.
Lately, dating within the office has become more common amongco-workers. The pattern appears to have been influenced by thejuggernaut dotcom industry, where tons of young start-ups havecultivated a new, easygoing and more liberal company culture. Whatwas not long ago deemed taboo is now tolerated and, in some cases,even encouraged. But will this open-minded approach to officedating progress to a higher level, with entrepreneurs courtingemployees?
Take, for instance, Microsoft magnate Bill Gates. There'smuch to be said when the planet's wealthiest man weds someoneon his payroll. Sure, Melinda Gates never worked directly with herhubby, but the rule of not getting your bread where you get yourmeat still applies in this case, especially with the stigma ofMonica Lewinsky and Anita Hill embedded in office folklore.
Yet Mari Florence, author of Sex at Work (Silver Lake Publishing),says venturing into uncharted waters is part of the entrepreneurialmake-up. "[Entrepreneurs] tend to be greater risk-takers bynature, so you find in many start-ups a breeding of an'anything goes' ethos."
Nowadays, the workplace has truly become an intimate extensionof the old singles' bar and hangout. Paul A. Falzone, author ofA Singles' Guide to Finding the Right One (PAFCOInternational), explains that enough women have entered the workforce in just the past decade to make them nearly proportionallyequal to men and thus create the opportunity for increasedsocializing. He adds, "With the mounting work hours moststart-ups keep, entrepreneurs and their employees are finding theonly social relationships they have time for is withco-workers."
The communal brew of employees who go out for drinks after workand who share common interests can also lead to sparks."You're in a pool of other like-minded people with thesame skills and passions as you," says Florence. "How areyou not going to find somebody in your own line of businesswho you may find attractive?" She also points out people aregenerally viewed in their best light while performing atwork-including entrepreneurs. "There isn't thisperception anymore of the entrepreneur in a big glass corner officewho is inaccessible to everyone. Interaction becomes lessformidable," she says.
According to an American Management Association poll, 74 percentof its members approved of office romances, while 21 percentbelieved dating between a supervisor and employee wouldn't be aproblem. Although these numbers continue to rise as office couplesbecome more widespread, many start-up leaders are still reluctantto pursue romantic relationships with their own employees, deemingthe potential fallout more pressing than anything else. "Ifind myself attracted to people in the office, just like anyoneelse, because I'm human," explains Joe Cha, CEO of SanFrancisco-based XUMA, a custom application service provider."But the cost to the organization could be great and it'sbetter for everyone to know I'm 100 percent focused on thebusiness and there's nothing else distracting me."
Florence contends employees naturally look to their leaders toset precedents. "Problems with relationships between anentrepreneur and a staff member aren't necessarily about therelationship itself. It's about the perception from their peerswho may feel threatened and the actual power the relationship mayor may not have," she says.
The 30-year-old Cha agrees and believes crossing the companyline can make staff uneasy and negatively affect morale. He addsthat the pressure builds when you hire the most qualified people,who may also be the type that would appeal to you outside of work."We foster a culture that's supportive of hard work, and,as a result, attract vibrant, passionate people. Those are veryattractive traits to many entrepreneurs," he says. "Ineffect, you're creating your own monster."
Yet with all the reservations entrepreneurs may hold,they've learned to tolerate their employees developing romanticbonds with one another. A recent Montana State University studyfound 80 percent of respondents reported having an office romancewith a co-worker at one time. "We don't encourage it, nordo we admonish it. But it has naturally grown and taken on a lifeof its own," says Cha. Enough so, in fact, that some flingshave even resulted in marriage.
For peers, the open and supportive atmosphere at XUMA has alsoallowed employees to develop a healthy balance between being openwith their office relationships and maintaining theirprofessionalism. Cha has found their sincerity to be refreshing andrewarding. "If people find happiness personally andprofessionally at the same place, it's all good," hesays.
The movement among dotcoms and other start-ups to be moreopen-minded and forward-thinking in their philosophies may be anindicator of what will become widely accepted in tomorrow'scorporate world. The overall success of the employee-courtingculture could determine how quickly the notion of entrepreneurstaking part in the dating scene progresses. Yet Cha remains contentin admiring from afar. "These things take their naturalcourse," he says. "I'm personally not in any realrush."
