Lonely at the Top Success can be isolating, so learn how to stay connected.
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Sure, owning a successful company has its benefits, but thereare draw-backs as well, including feelings of loneliness orisolation as the business takes on a life of its own. Thosefeelings are familiar to Meg Chang, 26, who has seen her LosAngeles-based company, Vantage Staffing Network, rapidly grow, withrevenue skyrocketing to over $20 million in the past year. Sheadmits to feeling lonely right after her company was awarded itsfirst major contract.
"While I was thrilled at Vantage's achievement, my timewas primarily spent making it happen and maintaining a tough travelschedule, which left little time for anything else," recallsChang. To help combat isolation, she stayed involved in networkinggroups such as the Southern California chapter of the U.S. PanAsian American Chamber of Commerce and the Asian BusinessAssociation.
"Loneliness kind of sneaks up from behind and grabs youbefore you realize it," explains Barbara Babbit Kaufman,entrepreneur and author of Attitude. "Your business life takesover your personal life and, before you know it, there's noseparation between the two, which can certainly lead toisolation."
As her company grew, handling the success of $45 million-plusPureRomance has been challenging for Patty Brisben, president andCEO of the Milford, Ohio-based woman-to-woman direct-sales companyspecializing in romantic products. "Although I play the partof the fearless leader, at times I honestly felt I was carrying theweight of the world on my shoulders," says Brisben, 49."With a 10,000-square-foot warehouse, more employees and amassive increase in stock, I felt I had to do it all for everyoneor [my business] would fail."
Regarding the isolation, Brisben admits, "It'sdifficult to find other women to relate to who are in the exactposition I am in my life and career."
"When you get to the top of your field, you also start toguard yourself and often put too much responsibility on your ownshoulders," explains Babbit Kauffman. "You rarely haveothers to turn to when you're in need of quick advice, and whenyou do get advice, it's mostly from those who tell you whatthey think you cannot do vs. what you can."
Brisben nurtures personal friendships to combat loneliness."I continue to honor many of my closest friendships from yearsprior to [my] financial and entrepreneurial success and haven'tlet inevitable life changes get in the way of those bonds,"she says. "Believing in myself and working closely with myfamily also helped me get through tough times of transition andgrowth."
If, like Brisben and Chang, you're fighting feelings ofisolation due to your success, Babbit Kaufman suggests you:
1. Create a line of separation. Your business andpersonal life must have a balance: Shut off that computer at acertain time every night; play with your kids more; or create abuffer zone before you get home.
2. Network. Construct networks that connect you to theright people at the right time. Call on these people for advice andopinions, but don't let their advice change your direction.
3. Don't take yourself too seriously. As you climbthe ladder of success, don't get caught up in it. Stay oncourse, have fun, and don't let what you've created changeyou.
"Loneliness is an inevitable emotion that's part of ourlife experience. There's no need to fear it, and there are waysto alleviate it," says Chang. "Regardless of your levelof success, it's important to remember why you wanted to be anentrepreneur in the first place. Don't forget yourpassion."
Aliza PilarSherman is an author, freelance writer and speaker specializingin women's issues.
